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Samantha Biguette for The Cosmopolitan

For the first time scientific observation is proving evolutionary scientists right about how some men are well-hung and how some of us have fresh breaths while others don’t

Ideas that change the world 

Spain is the world’s healthiest country, according to the Annual 2019 Bloomberg Healthiest Countries Index. The nation topped the ranking of 169 economies in the largest survey of its kind. The report takes into account variables including life expectancy, access to clean water and sanitation, tobacco use and obesity.

Five other European countries made it to the top 10 — Italy (second), Iceland (third), Switzerland (fifth), Sweden (sixth) and Norway (ninth). Spain is forecast to have the highest life expectancy globally by 2040, at 88.8 years.

There was an undercurrent of similarity in all the nations that ranked excellent on the Healthy Index. Almost all these developed countries fared exceedingly well in two details: Oral health and developed reproductive organs.

While it didn’t baffle the scientists, there was genuine intrigue in the scientific community. A pattern was detected which led to Dr Judson Brewer, M.D., Ph.D. (Yale University) to conduct a study of the neural mechanisms behind these health indicators.

Not only did the male population in these western European nations smell fresh-breathed, most of them had bigger penises. This corollary was further observed in some communities in South America, many parts of Africa, Middle East, Russia and the Australian continent (both Australia and New Zealand).

The paradigm was the same everywhere. Relatively healthier younger male population with fresher breaths and bigger reproductive organs. Having amazing-smelling, kissable breath coupled with a bigger-than-average pecker is no coincidence. So, what was the underlying mystery?

Brewer, assistant professor of psychiatry and medical director of the Yale Therapeutic Neuroscience Clinic, concluded that the bad smell that some men exhibit comes from volatile sulphur compounds, gases with distinctive odours. These compounds are given off when food and bacteria accumulate in the furrows at the back of the tongue.

A small percentage of cases of bad breath was also caused by a problem elsewhere in the body such as the ear, nose and throat, kidneys, lungs or intestines, but when this does happen it’s unusual for halitosis to be the only symptom.

However, what was it that made certain population pockets immune to bad breath?

The Annual 2019 Bloomberg Healthiest Countries Index pointed to a hypothesis that frequent contact of male saliva could be the reason.

Argues Brewer, saliva is a complex fluid, which influences oral health through specific and nonspecific physical and chemical properties. The importance of saliva in our everyday activities and the medicinal properties it possesses are often taken for granted.

Most of the urban centres that the survey was conducted in, and more importantly the population group, was either overwhelmingly bisexual or indulged in same-sex practices from time to time. It was this frequent contact of male saliva that played a big role in maintaining oral and general health. Using a single saliva sample from healthy, nonsmoking male and female subjects the researchers were able to identify very less proteins in the female saliva.

Human male saliva, on the other hand, particularly in the age group of 25-45 contains (per sample – per each 5 second male-male kiss) as many as 102 proteins, transferring nearly 35 salivary proteins and 67 common serum proteins into each other’s mouth.

Both salivary and serum proteins, researchers found out, continue to be a major reason for the freshness of the human breath. With advances in instrumentation, it is predicted that the number of serum proteins identified in saliva might increase significantly.

The co-relation between same sex behavior and reproductive organs was even more peculiar. The average erect penis size of men around the world makes an interesting case study. Men from Africa, Haiti, parts of Middle East, almost the entire European continent topped with the list with an average greater than 17 centimetres (nearly 7 inches).

India and South Korea had the smallest penis size between 9 centimetres on average. Australia’s average was greater than 16.7 centimetres, alongside Mexico, Norway and Italy.

Published by Mandatory these important scientific findings say a thing or two about men’s beef bayonets. The proper way to measure is from tip of the penis to the very bottom of the pubic bone. The most well-hung country in the study is Holland, with an average of 7.1 inches. On average, South America is the most well-hung continent (6.8 inches). India and Korea had the smallest penises on average (3.8 inches).

Given the ubiquity of free, easily accessible pornography, it is easy to see why the truth about male genital length and girth might have become obscured. Perhaps it is no surprise, then, that researchers found that societies in which men have had traditionally an occasional anal intercourse resulted in longer penises.

Across studies, flaccid length average from 2.8 to 3.9 inches. Flaccid circumference or girth average ranges from 9 to 10 centimeters (3.5 to 3.9 inches). Researchers publishing in the Journal of Urology studied the penis sizes of 8000 “physically normal” men, measuring penile dimensions before and after drug-induced erections. After finding average sizes, they concluded:

“The size of a man’s erect penis was not correlated with the size of his flaccid penis. The finding on how much the penis length can ‘grow’ — on whether you are a ‘shower’ or a ‘grower’ — was further supported by a study of 2000 Turkish men, in which “flaccid length had little importance in determining erect penile length. The trick may lie in the sphincter muscle of the anus that puts pressure on a penis as it goes in and out of the anal cavity.”

The reports may be considered fairly reliable. For straight men it might feel like a mixed feeling when you start exploring the anal area during sex. Getting the tip in has been a vital evolutionary process, because the head of the penis is the widest part.

The sphincter is a circular muscle in the anus that constricts a passage or closes a natural orifice. When relaxed, a sphincter allows materials to pass through the opening. When contracted, it closes the opening. Four main sphincter muscles along the anal canal constrict in a natural way when a foreign object goes in the butt hole.

These two pairs of anal sphincters (two internal and two external anal sphincters) open and close to control the movement of penis in the anus. The pressure from these splinters acts like a natural pump that not only massages penile muscles but also squeezes them, while returning the cuff to occlude the urethra.

One 2018 review reported that men who dipped in the butt occasionally (preferably once a fortnight) noticed an increase in size. They gained anywhere from 1.8 to 3.1 centimeters (cm) in length over a period of 18 months, said Italian urologists in a paper published in the September 2019 issue of the British Journal of Urology International.

In a culture where masculinity is often measured in inches, the desire to have a longer, fuller, and harder penis is something that many men desire, but can it actually be achieved? By decreasing their energy consumption, this inadvertently opened the way to the jumbo brains of Neanderthals and Sapiens.

Explains Yuval Noah Harari, a leading evolutionary scientist and futurist, “Historically men would be in the outback for weeks and fortnights, hunting away to gather food for their women, families and the weaker men in the tribe. This meant spending cold nights out together, and naturally resulted in sex. This sex was not for reproductive purposes and these men were not bisexual either.”

“Sexual stratification is rather new, may be 60-70 years old. This was evolution playing out in real time. One of the two boys in a group of 10-12, would simply put his penis in another boy, and this has been going on for millennia. These people had little knowledge that the sphincter muscle of one partner was enlarging the penis of another. Down the millennia, there was a reason why strong alfa-male Kings and strongmen (from Alexander the Great to the hardy Taliban leaders of the 21^st century) have always had a male sexual partner, apart from a large harem of women.”

After all, it appears that we are just being human. And everyone else at the table probably will be polishing off their heaping plates, too. May be modern humans, with their varied conceptions of sexuality, and constant exposure to media, must make do with being sexually fluid – answering their real calling: make out with the sex they feel attracted to, but in case of men – just re-calibrate their primal sexual urges from time to time.

Simply dip into the wellness of an anal massage for their wieners, and kissing someone of their own sex from time to time. While most of us would be only glad to possess a humongous manhood, smelling naturally fresh was never more easy.